The Reality Of Life

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Uncategorized

http://embed.break.com/NzU0MTIw
Hot Chick vs Fat Chick Mechanical Bull – Watch more Funny Videos

Back

Posted: April 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

Hi ladies and gentlemen. How’s it hanging?

Have been away for a while. Spiritually. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.

Am onto a big project at the moment. Possibly the biggest of my life so far.

Every Dog has its day.

It’s good to be back.

THE REAL GARY NG

Posted: January 8, 2011 in humour
Tags: , ,

Ladies and gentlemen ….

I present to you ….

THE REAL GARY NG …..


I did an earlier post with regards to the new Mediacorp TV Series Breakout and I praised Guo Liang and Jeanette Aw on their good acting and brilliant roles.

Sadly, I have to retract my earlier compliments. The first few episodes were very engaging and I thought some of the characterization were pretty strong. After the first week, the plot stagnated and we get treated to the same $#@% boring plot over and over again. How many times do we need to watch flashback of Guo Liang’s character and his brothers? Yes we get it. He is evil and has a violent past.

Then, we are being treated to the constant repetitive, and boring plot line of Xiao Ying (the woman who woke up after 13 years in coma) trying to find out who killed her parents. How is it even suspenseful when we already know that it was Guo Liang’s character who was the mastermind behind killing her parents? (please Mediacorp I pray you surprise me by having a twist to this plotline. Please don’t let Guo Liang be the mastermind)

Finally, how much of Jeanette Aw going psycho can we take? It seems that every episode she has at least two mental breakdowns. Is this some kind of Public Service Broadcast about Woodbridge Hospital and Split Personality Disorders? We get it. She IS nuts. Her character alternates between her silly ‘Holland Village Character’ and a growling lunatic. Speaking of which – why is she constantly talking in that low, strange voice and has a perpetual frown on her face? Evil people must frown all the time and speak in low voices? Someone please send a memo to Kim Jong Il.

First Expresson - Scowl

I am actually much more tickled by Ling Ming Lun’s character as the asshole lawyer. At least I get a good laugh every time he appears on screen. It’s fantastic to see his “Lampa Palan” face whenever he is in the presence of Guo Liang, Jeanette Aw and DYT (Dai Yang Tian).

Darren Lim is hilarious in a good way

Its unfortunate that a show with such promise in the beginning ran out of steam so early. Today’s episode about Pan Ling Ling’s character dying was especially painful to watch. The exaggerated acting of Jeanette Aw made the entire sequence unbelievable and laughable. The only possible saving grace was the scene between her and Guo Liang just before she died. It was possibly Guo Liang’s best scene. Prior to this scene, his pain and sadness consists of him grimacing and letting out “AH AH AH” with his eyes closed or half closed depending on the seriousness of the pain or sadness.

Don’t know how the ratings are turning out but my gut tells me that it’s not going to be that great.

You can watch the latest episodes here and judge for yourself.

Happy New Year

Posted: January 2, 2011 in Life
Tags: , , ,

Happy new year to one and all. Hope you had a great year. And that an even better one awaits.

Have you made your new year resolutions? Have you ever wondered why New Year Resolutions don’t work? Are you determined to make sure this year’s resolutions will all come true?

Check out this interesting article – Top 5 Reasons Why New Year Resolutions don’t work.


Have you ever wondered if the guy you are seeing or the guy you have a crush on is serious about you? Do you sometimes think to yourself that it’s so hard to guess if a guy is really serious about you?

Fret not. I bring to you “10 Ways to know the guy is just not serious about you.” Since it’s the end of the year, if your relationship is really going nowhere, then it’s time to move on. If the guy is not serious about you, what’s the point of clinging onto him? You deserve better.

1. After having sex with you, the phone calls and smses dipped considerably. Before doing the deed, you talk to him on a daily basis. But after the first screw, he takes an entire day or two to even reply an sms. Many phone calls go unanswered.

2. He will walk away to answer a phone call and speak in hushed tones when he’s out with you. What is so secretive that he can’t speak in front of you? DUH! He’s speaking with his REAL girlfriend or WIFE!

3. He will only hold your hand when he’s drunk or when you are on an overseas trip with him. Obviously he doesn’t want anyone to find out he’s going out with you.

4. He tells you that the timing is just not right! He tells you a cock and bull story about how he just broke up with his girlfriend and that he is so hurt that he doesn’t want to get into a SERIOUS relationship so soon. If you believe in that, I have only two words for you – GROW UP! There is no such thing as the timing is not right. Do you seriously believe he will tell Angelina Jolie that the timing is not right if she told him that she has a crush on him?

5. He tells you, “It’s not you. It’s me!”. Get this straight. He is just trying to reject you in the nicest way possible. It’s YOU! Do you seriously believe that he thinks that HE IS THE PROBLEM? Get a grip! He’s just not that into you!

6. Whenever you meet him, it’s always at a club getting drunk or at a hotel (insert any other locations) to have sex.

7. He never brings you to meet his parents or family members. Bringing a girl to meet his family members signify his intention about being serious in the relationship. So if you have known him for six months and he makes no mention of bringing you to meet his parents, you can be sure he’s just not that serious about you.

8. He prefers to meet up with his buddies to watch soccer and get drunk than go out with you. Yes, he’ll tell you that he needs his space and his guy outings. But if it happens every weekend, then he’s definitely more serious about his buddies than you.

9. He doesn’t remember your birthday or any other significant anniversaries. Most likely, he’ll give an excuse to say that everyday with you is like a valentine’s day or a birthday. Do you honestly buy that crap? If he can’t even remember your birthday, do you really think he’s serious about you?

10. When he tells you that “He’s not the marrying type.” or “I am not really into long term relationship.” For once, trust him. He REALLY means what he says.

You might also want to read Cheating in Relationships.


I used to party regularly with this guy who was a splitting image of Taiwanese Rocker Wu Bai. In fact, whenever we went out to party, everyone would actually call him Wu Bai. I don’t even know his real name but I’m pretty sure it won’t sound as cool as Wu Bai though. I can’t imagine someone calling him “LIM AH FOOK!” or some other shitty Beng name like that.

Wu Bai, Taiwanese Rocker

 

Anyway, the main point of my story is not about him. We used to hang out at this club called Baby Face. This club was frequented by many karaoke hostess and mamasans because it was opened till 6 am. So these ladies would actually go to the club to party after work. And Wu Bai being the rock star that he is, knows a lot of these hostesses and mamasans.

There was once he introduced me to this mamasan with humongous breasts. She is a little on the fleshy side but her boobs are pretty legendary. I have to say they are the biggest that I have ever seen on a woman. And I have seen quite a few pairs in my time.

Not the real person. But size is just about right.

Anyway this mamasan was working at Boss KTV. You can read about the funny KTV incident which took place @ Boss KTV. After many glasses of Martell on rocks. she was dancing seductively in front of me. I could tell she was quite into me or maybe she just wanted to have some fun with a guy outside her sleazy working environment.  We drank a lot. I think between the two of us, we finished a bottle of Martell.

We left the club when it was almost close to 5am. She didn’t want to go back and suggested we head to my place to drink some more. How could I possibly reject such an invitation?

After we reached my place, I brought out another bottle of Vodka and we started to drink. Very soon, we were kissing and groping. She took off her clothes and I was pretty shocked to see her ample bosoms. I can safely say this is the first time I literally stared at a woman’s boobs. It probably sounds pretty pervertish but I was simply appreciating the beauty of a legend.

She pretended to be shy when she noticed that I was staring at her breasts. She poured herself another drink and we played five ten. And yes, she was basically half naked and I as trying my best not to stare anymore. After a few more shots of Vodka, I could tell she was slurring and getting really drunk. I told her to stop drinking and she promptly fell asleep on my sofa. No action, I thought to myself. I covered her with a blanket and went to check my email.

After about ten minutes, I suddenly heard her waking up. I turned around and guess what I saw!

She actually walked over to my main door, pulled down her skirt and panties and pee right there in my living room. I stood there absolutely flabbergasted and horrified. Her eyes were still half close so I assumed she was in some kind of semi-drunken stupor. I think I shouted “OOI” or something to that extend but she wasn’t listening. I could see the yellow liquid slowly flooding my living room floor and moving towards my shoes.

Funny peeing woman

What's wrong with these women???

I darted quickly to retrieve my shoes before her yellow pee stained them. After she was done, she pulled up her panties and went back to sleep on my sofa! I stared at the pool of pee on the floor in utter disbelief. A freaking big boob mamasan just peed on my floor!

I had little choice but to wipe up the pee from the floor. And I can’t remember how come I didn’t use the mop. I think the mop was broken and I literally had to use some cloth to wipe up the urine. Freaking disgusting! That was the one and only time I actually mopped someone’s pee.

The next day she woke, I told her about the incident and she insisted I was lying! I should have bloody took a video of it but I was in too much shock to have such quick thinking. We kind of lost contact after that peeing incident but I saw her recently at the airport. She was pushing a stroller with her baby inside. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I saw her.

Thanks for the memories Miss Big Boobs Mamasan.