The Funny Smelly Pussy Story

Posted: December 10, 2010 in humour, Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WARNING: If you are a woman, you might find the following post offensive so please refrain from reading it if you are the easily ‘offensible’ type. (obviously after such a warning it will make you want to read it even more right? Such is the paradox of life)

The other day, me and a few guy friends were discussing about women, sex, and conquests (notice how shallow men are). Somehow the topic invariably led to a discussion about smelly pussies. We took turns sharing stories about our experiences with smelly pussies. We came to a conclusion that any men who had had his fair share of pussies would definitely have experienced the ‘smelly pussy syndrome’ at least once.

I guess I am quite lucky in the sense that most of the pussies I have ‘met’ have been relatively clean and pretty ok smelling. I classify ok smelling as no foul smell. I mean it’s very difficult to find a sweet smelling pussy unless she just came out from a shower. Then you would probably be smelling the ‘soap smell’ instead, but I digress.

Anyways, I can vividly remember the day that I had my one and only ‘smelly pussy’. It was during army. Those times, we were all crazy about Zouk Mambo Jambo nights. I remembered my army buddies and I would be there every single week. At that time, there was this place called the MTV Bar (now Phuture) where we would down a jug of long island each before heading to the dance floor platform to dance through the night. (On hind sight it’s a bit loserish for guys to be dancing on platforms, but we were young, intoxicated and foolish)

Zouk Mambo Jambo Nights

During that period, our clique grew to a very big group of girls and boys since we were there every single week without fail for at least a year. So there was this particular girl. Let’s call her Wendy. I knew she was interested in me but I wasn’t really keen on her since she was a bit on the fleshy side. Her looks were ok but she wasn’t that interesting to talk to as well. She was 19 and studying in NUS Arts Faculty I believe.

I guess she was largely forgettable until there was one particular night when I was pretty wasted. So our dear friend Wendy volunteered to send me back home. It so happened that my parents were away on holiday that night so the inevitable had to happen.

When we reached my place, we headed straight into my room and we started kissing and then proceeded to light petting. She seemed a bit shy and I didn’t think she was pretending to be shy. So I casually asked if she was a virgin and she nodded. Alarm bells immediately rang in my head. Goodness gracious me! I decided right away I wasn’t going to penetrate her.

But I figured since we were already half naked and lying on the bed, it would be very strange to stop. On top of that, I was obviously already aroused. So I figured we could at least engage in some oral sex. So we kissed and I moved from her lips to her ample breasts, to her slightly fleshy waist and then I noticed it.

Even in the moonlight, I could see an Amazon forest down at her pubic area. And when I say Amazon Forest, I mean AMAZON FOREST! It was quite possibly the thickest bush of hair I have ever seen on a female species. At this point, it was pretty awkward for me since my tongue had already reached her stomach and obviously I was supposed to proceed down. It would seemed pretty unnatural if I stopped suddenly.

The Funny Amazon Forest Metaphor

The Amazon Forest

So I gritted my teeth and proceeded down south. Within another inch, the pungent smell hit me. It’s indescribable but I will do my level best to describe it. Take the smell of rotten fish, combine it with some smelly eggs, multiply it by about 30 times. That’s the whiff of pungent air that greeted me. I contemplated for about one milli second and decided I just can’t do it.

I made a quick detour and headed to her thigh instead. It was like making a quick exit upon seeing the ERP in front of you, except this was ten times worse.

Funny ERP Imagery

By then, I was totally turned off. I pretended to be drunk and headed to the toilet to puke. I really can’t be sure if the puking was due to the alcohol or the smelly pussy. That incident turned me off oral sex for several months.

Moral of the story: Trim your bush and wash with soap every day, including the internals.

Have you ever had a smelly pussy or a smelly dick? Leave me a comment if you have.

Cheers.

About these ads
Comments
  1. j.c says:

    Lol, I’ve encountered this as well. One of the memorable one was when I had sex with this mix blood girl, chinese indian. When she climax the smell from her pussy was oooo. The whole room stink. I do admit that its a turnoff but what the hack she’s just a fling.

  2. j.c says:

    Pretended nothing happened and finish the business. Ahhhh….

  3. i_hater says:

    WAHHHH….never shout out loud in hokkien —————- CCB

  4. Rape Me! says:

    [...] that I actually noticed that she had a very thick growth of pubic hair, almost comparable to the girl with the smelly pussy. But credit to her, she had a very nice smell. In fact, I have to classify her as one of the best [...]

  5. Oboigba osaze says:

    Why didn’t you help her wash it clean with your tongue?

  6. Sam Praise says:

    Well, i descovered some men also like it smelly, i have come to know a certain natural smell of pussy that i like so much, i enjoy it when i come in contact with it, definatly not the smelly type, you know what i mean?

  7. The smell of any woman’s pussy is solely dependent on how often she scrubs. As well, another man’s trash is another man’s pleasure. If you want the erotic smell of pussy anytime, try http://www.TheSmellofVagina.com

  8. Charlee says:

    Oh poor we ‘re. I hav once experienced of such stinky pussy. It was really a bad experience.

  9. mr.alex says:

    I take it as a sign of disrespect. They know they smell they just dont care. Dont tolerate that crap tell the scumbag to leave. I always tell a chick ahead of time they have to be clean some dont like it and cut me off, obviously they stink if thry get offended jusy be blunt and honest, not only id it good for you but you are doing the next guy that bangs her a favor. Dirty hoes

  10. Wilfred says:

    I met a girl who;s husband was in the Navy. One thing led to another and we were in the back seat of my car. When she asked me to eat her pussy i was glad to go downtown until my face was over her pussy. I got a wif of that and told her i did not know how to do it. I was 18 at the time and she said that she would teach me. I told her that i did not want to learn. She was mad for a few seconds and then asked if she could suck my dick, sure i saod. After i came in her mouth and she swallowed, the party was over. I will never forget that smell. I would rather have a skunk next to me than that smelly pussy. That is no shit.

  11. dennis van der bilt says:

    A friend of mine encountered chunks of cheese and swollowed it.. He then vomited on her vagina..

    She liked it.

    She ate her own cheese sometimes when hungry..

    Dumped..

    • dennis van der bilt says:

      Or I know someone who swollowed cheesy blood chunks.. This cheese is a delicasy in morocco.. They call it bladhescheesy..

      Eat snot
      Eat cheese

      Who reads this is an asshole

  12. Katherine Blanks says:

    Smelly dick….So I was going to go down on this dude. I had the jeans pulled down, the boxers too and then I stopped for a moment. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and decided to lay back. The smell was unbelievable. You boys talk about pussy being stinky but this one was ripe! He had a full splash of shit on the back of his balls, crusty tip and a horrible stench that was a cross between blue cheese, ball sweat and shit. Like if someone was going to cheese, milk and an old pair of underwear with piss in the hot sun for 5 days….that was it. I suddenly remember I had a sore throat…

  13. Carla says:

    Real Men go where no one has gone before!

  14. Electrikkiss says:

    AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! This is AMAZING!!!

  15. SAAJ says:

    IT IS ONLY THOSE WHO DONT WASH THEIR PUSSY FROM URINE AND MONSTRUATION ,WHO HAVE SMELLY PUSSY

  16. Bronson says:

    “Her momma said ‘honey ya got to have disease cuz every time ya come around it smells like rotten cheese’!
    So they took her to the clinic into the waitin room. Nurse said the doctor would be in to see her soon.
    Doctor looked at her head and down to her toes but when she took off her panties he had to hold his nose”

    Chorus:

    “She’s got a stinkin pussy, she’s got a stainkin hoe. Smellin like a pound of anchovies on a roll.
    that someone peed on, someone took a dump on.

    Now dontcha bother with the perfume get da bitch to the bathroom. Send there fast wash her nasty ass.
    Dump her in the tub. Make it hot and sudsy.
    Cuz everybody know she’s got a stinky pussy!”

  17. Darshan says:

    I love you my best frind

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s